Meet Me.

Yes, I'm a fattie. Well, maybe it's not visible at the moment, but I'm a fattie inside and it's just waiting to show it's ugly face again. But not if I can help it! Not again!  Food is my personal demon.  But I will give in to it no more!


This blog is about my own journey to inward health and outward beauty. This blog is for me - to be a resource and a "filing system" for the things I have discovered. This journey is my search for "outward beauty" -- I say that because I recognize that I am already beautiful on the inside. My beauty from within is because I am a child of God, created in His image, exactly how he wants me to look - and recognize I am loved beyond measure through him as he created me. I feel that true beauty starts there, and without the light and joy of God, your outward appearance is only that, an appearance, and cannot be true "beauty" without the recognition how amazing and beautiful you are through the eyes of God.   


With that being said, my demons that have possessed me for most of my life have been based on low self esteem and looking for where I fit into the world. Food has been my joy, my friend, my comfort, my conversation, my social avenue, and my confidant, when things were going well in other areas of my life, and equally when they weren't. When I let God into my heart, he was able to fill my void where I was seeking to be loved and accepted. However, my bondage with food continued to haunt me. I have recently recognized that food was just that - my bondage, my addiction, the one thing I could not get control of over my life. As I considered it, I realized that food has been my drug, my porn, my secret lover, a major sin (to me at least) -- that "thing" that people judge and despise in others. When I realized that, I was disgusted by my bondage, and it no longer seemed like the "little thing" it had seemed before. I have since then worked to break that bondage. I have worked on getting healthy and learning what my body needs and what it doesn't need, the way God created it. This blog will be a journal of my continued journey.

This blog will not necessarily be on HOW I've lost the weight. Just know that it has been a little bit of this and a little bit of that -- and each piece has helped complete the puzzle for me. This blog will be my journal, my recipes, my resources, my spiritual journey and my other discoveries along the way.


So, if you are wondering, I've been big.  And I've been small. And I've been everything in between. I've been a size 18.  I'm currently a size 6 - working towards a size 4 waist and a size 4 lifestyle.





Let the journey begin!