Pass the Thankfullness, Please.

I admit it!!!  I stink when it comes to taking the time to do special things to emphasize holiday seasons and create special memories.  I am not good at creating Thankful Journals or having each family member write what they are thankful for and put it in a jar.  I think my family would laugh at me if I even tried.  I am not creative enough (or patient enough) to make scrapbook albums.  And we just can't seem to find a day to bake cookies.  Believe me, the spirit is willing, but the time managment is weak!

However, this year I am humbled by my lack of time and how it has impacted this "Season of Thanks", or should I call it my "Season of Nothing Different than Last Month."  Although we strive every day to appreciate our blessings as a family (grace before dinner, prayers before bed, conversations of blessings, etc), I am humbled by the fact that during this "Season of Thanks", there's been no special season, and there has been no special thanks.  Instead, I'm afriad that our thanks-giving has become rote and mundane to them.  How did this happen????  "No!  I want it to be more than that!" my heart pleads.   I want my children to really appreciate not only the celebration of the First Thanksgivng between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans, but also to appreciate all we have been givin in this life. 

So in an effort to abort this "Season of Nothing Different Than Last Month" and redirect it, I have come up with a list of things that does not require extra time or any creatvity (or domesticality) that will create a  SEASON (meaning more than one day) of THANKFULNESS to my children.   Here is my list.  I call it, "Hey, Give Me a Break.  I am Not Creative and Have Limited Time" list of new annual traditions.

Prior to Thanksgiving Day:
     *   "I am Thankful for YOU" video cards.
     Now that I have a smartphone (thank you, work!), I have the amazing ability to create short videos and email them instantly.  Each day, my children each think of one person they are thankful for and 3 reasons why they are thankful for them or 3 things that they love/cherish about that person.  I make a video of them expressing this and send it to each person.  Every morning.  Before SuperReader comes on. 
     *  Thanksgiving Book Nook
     All the Thanksgiving  themed books have been put into a basket and put them in a cozy corner with a bean bag chair or pillows and blankets, creating a cozy atmosphere where we can cuddle as a family and read books of Thankfulness.  Each night.  Before bed.
    *  Thanksgiving Eve
     Since Thanksgiving Day tends to be a day of cooking, rushing around, and sometimes chaos with all the guests and people swirling around, take Wednesday evening to snuggle up as a family and spend quality time all together.    This year's First Annual Thanksgiving Eve Family Party included a fireside picnic dinner (finger food for the children & Thai takeout for us) and movie night/game night.  In our jammies, of course! 

Thanksgiving Day:
     *  Thanksgiving Hostess Gift
     A special symbol of gratitude for the person hosting the Thanksgiving meal.  Since it's usually a family member, I often forget the hostess gift.  No longer!!!  Consider an apron, a filled photo book of the years highlights, or a Christmas ornament.

After Thanksgiving:
     *  Friday Date Day
     Instead of shopping on Friday, have a date with each of your children throughout the day.  Each parent can take one child and then switch throughout the day, or you can arrange to have a sitter (or family member) stay with the remaining children while you spend quality time with one child at a time, expressing your thankfulness for that individual child. 
     *  On Saturday after Thanksgiving, volunteer at a shelter, the Salvation Army, Meals on Wheels, etc, to give to those less fortunate. 


 Suddenly, Thanksgiving feels much  more thankful!!!  

Happy Girls are the Prettiest

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
— Audrey Hepburn

I'm in search of inner beauty!  From my head to my toes.  There are 3 things I'm striving for - a beautiful spirit, beautiful health, and a little pep in my step that can provide contagious joy to others.  Today, being the Monday that it is, I gotta fake it till I make it.  So, to give a little pep in my step, I'm wearing pokadot shoes.  It's amazing how fun shoes (in addition to a joyful spirit), puts pep in my step.  I also put on a happy face.  I'm smiling at every person I see.  According to Mark Stibich, Ph.D., smiling makes us more attractive.  People want to know what we're so happy about.  In addition, if you smile at someone, they feel that perhaps they have something to do with that happiness.  And people like making others feel happy.  Start smiling at people and you'll notice more people are drawn to you.  Smiling is completely worthwhile - they say that smiling can actually make us happier, improve our health, and make us more successful.  

So today I'm believing I'm beautiful, even though I wasn't feeling it when I got up.  And, like Audrey Hepburn, I'm believing in pink, and I'm believing in miracles!  I wasn't feeling beautiful when I got out of bed this morning, but between my shoes, my smile, and the healthy lunch I just enjoyed -- I'm feeling beautiful now.  Way more gorgeous than that that crabby girl over there who could be America's Next Top Model -- if she'd only smile.

He Cares

It's always humbled and amazed me how much God cares about the details of our lives.  He really takes care of even the simplest things!  For me, I've found myself in awe at the details he's provided;  amazing friends at the perfect time, favorite fashions on sale for 90% off when I could never justify paying full or even half price for something new,  free haircuts when I needed one so bad, and perfect weather on important days.  My list can go on and one.  One year ago I found myself feeling desperation over things that I thought he didn't care about; such as my weight and what I was wearing -- how could I afford to pay for a weight loss program (at the time I was even considering surgery) and or justify buying new clothes that would fit me.  But he has continued to provide everything I needed, even in such a silly need as food and clothing on my weight loss journey.  I always thought this verse was for people who couldn't AFFORD to eat.  But my issues had little to do with money and more to do with self obsession.  But he even cares about my weight loss journey.  And why would that surprise me???

Matthew 6:25-32

 ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[a]?    ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

HOWEVER!  There's a rub! I'm going to be honest here.  I've always known that God cares about the details of my life.  However, through my Christian walk, it rarely occurred to me that if God cares about what I eat and how I treat my body, Satan also cares about it and will use it to distract you from God.

This was my realization about 9 months ago.  I was desperately trying to loose weight and get healthy, yet I was struggling with the mental part of the journey.  It suddenly occurred to me that I was intentionally being distracted from God with my obsession about what I was eating, drinking, weighing, and how I was looking.  I was letting these things determine my self worth and and provide me with my self esteem instead of seeking my value and worth as a child of God.  Only when I realized Satan's hold on me as it pertained to food and self worship was I able to let go of these strongholds.  My obsession of how I was looking/wanted to look had a huge bondage for me - and I didn't even have a clue about it.  Satan is sneaky -- he'll try to get his hands in you one way or another.  I was living in pride that I wasn't struggling with any "big" sins - until I realized my sin and idolatry of food was present and equal to the other sins in the eyes of God.  I realized I was personally involved in some spiritual warfare that I didn't even really believe in prior to this journey.  But that's another blog -- something I may share at a later date.  If I posted it, I'm pretty sure any readers that stumbled across it would think I was pretty crazy.  =)

Thanks to God, I've been freed from this bondage.  Don't get me wrong -- Satan still attacks me in this way.  It's still a struggle as Satan continues to find my weaknesses as they often pertain to food and my appearance.  However, as tomorrow marks Good Friday and we celebrate the sacrifice that Christ made for us on the cross, we can truly rejoice in the freedom we gained through his loss.   I truly rejoice in the fact that Jesus conquered death and conquered Satan through his sacrifice.  And through this - I am free.

So what am I eating for Easter Dinner?  My meal will consist of a number of delicious items, yet will continue to honor my body as God's temple, as I indulge in things that are wholesome, free of chemicals and other toxins, and will not attack my cells or my blood sugar, or allow Satan in to attack me and provide me with temptation that would he would, no doubt, claim victory in.     My celebration will be focused on my family who is gathering together WHILE we eat, but not a celebration of the food itself.    This, in itself, is a victory for me. 

Easter Menu:
**I'm in the process of posting links, so if it's not yet posted, check back!!!****

Main Dish: 

     Ham with Ham Gravy

Side Dishes: 

     Garlic Cheesy Biscuits

     Protein Packed Potatoes

     Deviled Eggs

     Company Dinner "Rice"

    Herbed Green Beans

Dessert:

     Lemon Cheesecake   

In Search of a Meek and Quiet Spirit

 

1 Peter 3; 3-6

 ³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴ Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, ⁶ like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I don't know when it was, exactly, that it was impressed upon me that I needed to obtain a "meek and quiet" spirit to be a Godly woman.  The topic seriously use to send me spewing!  The term "meekness" has always rubbed me wrong as the image it conjures up for me is of a woman with her head bowed and no personal opinions.  I remember first asking God if I HAD to be this way to be a Godly woman, and then praying for God to MAKE me this woman, even though I felt like it went against every grain of my natural personality.  Didn't God make me boisterous and energetic???  How does this fit in with a "meek and gentle spirit" that he commands we have as Godly women? He never did make me a person to stand with my head bowed and nothing to say.  And secretly, I was relieved.

The verse was pressing on me today.  So I decided to spend some time on the word "meek."  With further study of definition, I have come to learn that society has given us the wrong image of this Christ-like characteristic.  Webster defines meek as  "enduring injury with patience and without resentment" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meek)  Suddenly, being "meek" brings upon a whole new image.  This new image was profound - and encouraging. 

After spending time researching and defining "meek", I was curious as to the definition of "quiet."  Of course, the primary use of quiet is "little or no activity", however the number two definition is "gentle and easy going." 

So as I continue to cloak myself in Christ-like character, I am striving to "endure injury with Patience and without resentment."  This definition speaks of our inner beauty, what's happening inside when we've been wronged.  Funny that God would plant this on my heart this week, as I have honestly found myself offended by a few people who I feel I have been unjustifiably wronged by!  Now I'm being told to let it go.  Wow, I think it would be easier to keep my head down my mouth shut but be allowed to spew on the inside. 

And to be "gentle and easy going" - that can be difficult, too, especially when I have a strong opinion about something.  My natural tendency is to share my brilliance and my brilliant discoveries with anyone and everyone.  Honestly, I'm always a little shocked when people don't share the same enthusiasm about something as I do.  Even simple things, like food, or movies, or things that I think are funny.   

Yep, clearly it's time to robe myself in this Christ-like characteristic. 

So on today's search for inner beauty, I am working on my meek and quiet spirit.  Just for the record, this goes against my inner sinner.  But with God, all things are possible, right?

Fighting the "Don't Call Me, I'll Call You (After I Meet Goal Weight.....)" Sydrome

I love to fellowship and socialize with friends.  However, when it comes to my weight loss journey, the fastest way to self-sabotage my efforts are to go to a party of any sort.  Truthfully, my will power is attacked at social gatherings, and as I continue to pray about it and improve on it, it is still my biggest weakness when it comes to treating my body like a temple and practicing self control.  I do better to flea from this temptation and not attend social parties. 

However, that being said, I am personally a social being and cannot "starve" myself of fellowship.  Not only that, but we are called to gather together for friendship and support.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

So how do I cope with this challenge?  First, I've discovered that restaurants can be a breeze to navigate.  I love having a menu of choices.  And almost every restaurant I've ever been to will customize your order.  I order any burger, hold the bun and get a veggie or side salad in place of fries.  Or I order any dinner, hold the rice or potato, and substitute it with veggies, fruit, or salad.    I feel like I've had a real treat and I don't feel deprived at all.  Second, I offer to entertain at my own house where I can control what I serve.  This only happens on special holidays, as entertaining is quite the endeavor and saved for special events. 

The other,  most common thing I find myself doing, is meet a friend for coffee.  I have found that I love a nice cup of coffee (or 2 or 3).  I can order a regular cup of coffee (often with free refills!).  My favorites are the flavored coffees.  I've noticed that since I have largely eliminated sugar from my diet, I can clearly, and sweetly, taste the flavor.  If I can't get a flavored variety, then I get a bold blend coffee and sweeten it and make it a treat by adding sugar free sweeteners (I can bring my own flavored stevia - chocolate raspberry is my favorite - or I can use spenda or a sugar free flavor offered by the coffeehouse). I can sit and visit for, literally, hours, without ever being tempted by any other sweets or other savory downfalls. 

Of course, with that being said, the best activity is going for a walk or shopping at the mall, however, for myself, I  find it's hard to really connect and catch up with my friends in this type of activity.   I would personally prefer a more intimate activity, which, unfortunately, generally includes food.

However, some social events I can't avoid (like Easter at my In-Laws!)   When it comes to this, I remember that this is a lifelong journey and that the big picture and overall lifestyle is the key.  I can't starve myself, socially.    That is not a life I choose to live.  I choose to be joyful and a light to others.   These social gatherings are an opportunity to test my self control in the midst of temptation.  I can't improve it without practicing it.

So.... I refuse to live a "Don't Call Me, I'll Call You After Goal Weight" lifestyle.  However, I'm kinda busy for lunch.  But would you like to get together for coffee sometime?

Get Your Party On

It's important to me to provide a healthy, safe, stable home, with lots of fun memories and traditions for my children.  The emotionally healthy, safe and stable part is complete through my strong marriage and foundation of faith.   No question that is the best thing I can provide my children.   However, being a second generation full time working mom with 2 toddlers sometimes makes the "create fun memories and traditions" part of my "to do" list, and, to be honest, sometimes falls to the wayside.  Now, the big holidays such as Birthdays, Easter and Christmas are gimmies.  I really don't have a problem with those.  I have lots of things to pull from my own past and traditions that my family gave me to be able to pull from.  However, I want to create fun memories and traditions in our every day life - and this is where my challenge lies.  Not to mention the physically healthy part of this -- in my family, I'm truly going where no woman has ever gone before!

However, with that being said, I have been inspired!  I have a friend who makes every holiday a family party at her house.  She even includes special events, such as the Olympics and the first day of school.  She is a stay at home mom of 5 (!). She creates breakfasts, activities and desserts with these special themes in mind.  I have also been recently turned on to Jamie Schultz's blog This Lunch Rox  (http://thislunchrox.com/).  Jamie makes themed lunches for her kids.  Her lunches are also healthy.  School + Lunch = healthy AND fun???  Who knew this could even be done?!  So inspiring! 

So, with this inspiration, I've decided to up my Mom Game when it comes to dinner during holidays and significant events.  Of course, added to the creative challenge is the healthy challenge!  And it needs to fit into my "full time working mom" life.  But inspiration behold.... it IS possible!  I implemented my first inspirational project on St. Patrick's Day. 

This surprise dinner party featured rainbow veggies (cauliflower) with mashed potato clouds (mashed potatoes made with 2 scoops of unflavored whey protein, cream, and some butter), "gold" a the end of the rainbow (cheese), green eggs and shamrock ham, and a coconut flour rainbow cupcake.   To drink was Shamrock Protein Shake (Click HERE for the recipe).

                      

I also went to the dollar store and bought St. Paddy's Day hats for everyone, made green construction paper place mats, and found some old Mardi Gras beads to put out.  I spent a whole $4.00 on favors and decorations for our dinner party.

For activities, while the girls were at preschool, the leprechauns came and mixed up all kinds of furniture at our house.  They dropped coins along the way.  This was very exciting for the girls to see and of course they loved collecting the coins and putting the money their piggy banks.  (a whole 20 cents!)    We also had a few rainbow color games, as well as dreaming up tales of what those silly leprechauns were doing in our house!

The most exciting part of this for me was the fact that I could still provide a healthy meal for them that was packed with protein and vitamins, with very few processed carbs.  I kept the serving sizes small (something I learned from Jamie's blog This Lunch Rox at http://thislunchrox.com/) and offered a large variety of tastes. To my delight, they ate it ALL!   And really, this was not a difficult or labor intensive meal to make.  I made the cupcakes the night before, but otherwise, the whole thing only took me about 30-45 minutes to put together.    This is definitely a challenge I'm looking forward to rising to the occasion for.  What theme should I do next.....  hmmmm....  I notice Earth Day is coming up in April.....

To get the recipes for this dinner, click here to go to my recipe blog!



What's in My Pantry?

There are a few "must haves" in my pantry for me to be able to cook (and bake) successfully on a "no sugar low starch" lifestyle.  I keep these things stocked all the time so I can successfully "whip something up."

1.  Whey Protein (vanilla, chocolate, and original)
Whey protein is called for in many recipes.  I also make some incredible shakes using it, including   whatever speciality seasonal shake McDonald's is offering - most recently the Shamrock Shake.  But whey protein is also used as a flour alternative sometimes.  I find my whey protein at Sam's Club for a very reasonable price.

2.  Ideal Sweetener (white sugar and brown sugar)
Ideal Sweetener is made of Xylitol and really doesn't have any funny aftertaste that I can notice.  Or anyone from my family has ever noticed.  Believe me, they'd tell me.  I have found the best price for Ideal on Amazon.  You can usually find it with no shipping.

3.  Coconut Oil
I use coconut oil not only in my baking, but also in place of butter.   My favorite and most common thing to use it for is Chocolate Delight.  There are too many health benefits for me to outline here. It's worthy of an entire blog entry.  Check out Dr. Mercola; http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/10/22/coconut-oil-and-saturated-fats-can-make-you-healthy.aspx

4.  Shirataki/Miracle Noodles
Have you tried these things?  **WARNING:  You have to make them properly or they are completely gaggable.  You MUST drain them, rinse them, drain them again, and then microwave them for 3-4 minutes before using them.  With that being said, these are a great addition to your cooking staples.  You can use them as a noodle substitute in whatever noodle dish you make.  They really don't have much flavor, they mostly just absorb the flavor of the sauce you are serving them with.  I love them best with pesto or Alfredo sauce.  A whole cup of these noodles are only 40 calories, 1 gm fat, 6 carbs and 4 fiber (equalling 2 "usable carbs."  I buy mine at Whole Foods for about $2.50 a bag.  They give you 10% off if you buy 12 bags or more at a time.

5.  Frozen Cauliflower
     I do SO MUCH with cauliflower!!!  Including make all kinds of rice dishes (using riced cauliflower instead), lasagna noodles,and even bread sticks.

6.  Baking Cocoa
     I have discovered Penzy's Spices baking cocoa and there truly is no replacement for that.  However, any baking cocoa will do the trick.  Add it to a little sweetener and you can make anything chocolate that you could ever want.

7.  Coconut flour
     This is a new find for me.  It can be used as a flour substitute.  I have made cookies, brownies, cakes, muffins, biscuits, and pizza crusts with it.  It can be found in the natural foods section of the grocery store, but I get mine at Whole Foods for about $8.00.  That may sound like a lot, but a little goes a very long way.  For example, 1/3 of a cup makes a dozen .  I bought a 16 oz. bag and finally used it up after 6 months of baking with it.  1 serving of coconut flour (2 TB) of coconut flour is 60 calories, 2 gm fat, and 3 usable carbs. 

8.  Veggies and fruit
   I don't want anyone to think that veggies and fruit are not a part of our lives around here.  HUGE.  PART.

9.  Cheese
All kinds.  All the time.

10.  Meats
Once again.  All kinds.  All the time.  We freeze them so we can pull them out and whip up dinner without ever requiring an emergency trip to the store. 

As you can see, with these 10 items always at hand, there is no reason to not be able to cook every day recipes. With these items on hand, I can always whip up noodle dishes, rice dishes, biscuits, desserts and even pizza!  I feel like there is nothing that I can't convert to a no sugar low starch dish.  Hmmm.  I think it's time to start thinking about dinner!

Happy shopping!

My Body, My Temple

Corinthians 6:19-20 (New International Version)

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price.

Therefore honor God with your bodies.

What does it mean to treat our body like a temple of God?  How does one honor God with our body?  In today's society, this almost seems like an oxymoron.  Our society is one that wants to worship our bodies and ourselves not honor God. I have decided to make an intentional effort to honor God through my body, His temple, and not worship myself, nor material things, through my body.  I'll be honest... this is an ongoing effort. 

As much as we are created BY God, we are created FOR God, and we are also called to be the hands and feet OF God -- to go and do what he calls us to do. 

In Corinthians 6:19-20,  our bodies are labeled temples of the Holy Spirit.  And throughout the Bible we are called to go and do what God commands, then that makes us each a tabernacle (a portable temple) of God. 

The Tabernacle was first esblished in Exodus.  Once God had led the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, He instructed Moses to construct a tabernacle--a temple that could be transported along with the Israelites in the course of their journeys.  These were the first temples.

Exodus 25:8
 ⁸ “Then have them make a sanctuary for me, and I will dwell among them."

God then goes on to describe what the Tabernacle should look like.  I'll do my own little paraphrasing because it's a rather long passage.  He commands an ark made of wood, overlayed with pure gold, inside and out.  He then commands poles to be inserted into the ark to carry the tables of the covenant law.  These poles, carrying the tables, were not to be removed.

 A temple is a structure reserved for spiritual activities, such as prayer and sacrifice. When I think of a temple, I think of a beautiful dwelling; one that people admire and want to look inside and spend time in.    It is NOT to be a place of idol worship or the selling of goods.  In Mathew 21; 12-13, Jesus became furious of what was happening inside the temple.  He raged and overthrew tables, one of the only examples (that I can recall) in the Bible where Jesus was clearly angry.

Mathew 21; 12-13

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer;

but ye have made it a den of thieves.

So here we are;   we are walking temples.  Human Tabernacles.

What does this look like in my life (again, this is an ongoing process...)

1.  My body will be a house of prayer.  His laws will not be removed from this tabernacle, but will go wherever I go.

2.  I will present my body in an attractive manner, however excessive time attending to it cannot be had.  I will be clean, smell fresh, and be groomed.  My clothes will not be shabby.  For me, this means 45 minutes in the morning to get dressed - from start to finish.  My dress will not be gaudy or call attention to itself, but it will be subtle and sophisticated.

3.  I will NOT sell or advertise goods that are not of God.  This means that I will not advertise material items or brands.  I will not dress promiscuously or any way that call attention to my figure and draw attention away from God, the one who created me.

4.  I will ingest things that make me healthy and strong, and I will not be a worshipper of food.  Yes, this even means healthy food and healthy recipes that can take my attention.

5.  My sacrafice will be within my actions of being the hands and feet of God.  I will continue to strive for a meek and humble spirit (not a natural presence for me).  I will strive to be last, not first, and put my own intersts aside to be able to serve others and worship God.

If my body is a dwelling place of God where the Holy Spirit resides (Corinthians 6:19-20 ) this means that, in a sense, I drag God into everything I do with my body. It's not my body to do what I please with, to wear what I want, to drink what I want, eat what I want, watch what I want, listen to what I want.....   I shouldn't eat what I want, do what feels good with it, put poison into it, and use it for things God hates. This house was bought at a very expensive price; in fact, the highest price ever paid - the life of the sinless Son of God.

My new lease on life includes me treating my body like what it really is. It's the property of God!

Stress Makes the World Go 'Round - Not To Mention My Back End

I just spent 5 glorious weeks in Michigan with my parents.  I went to help my mom, who has been a little sick, as well as to give my kids some bonding time with this set of Grandparents.   My work, however, is still rather busy, so fortunately I was able to arrange to work from my laptop part time while I was there.  While in Michigan, my plan was to prepare meals, clean, run errands, take my mom to appointments, and work.  I enrolled my children (both toddlers) in preschool to provide them with a routine and allow me to focus on the aforementioned things.  However, I did not realize that to drop them off at daycare each day would take 1 hour, round trip, twice a day, leaving limited time for the rest of my plans, let alone time to work.

I was excited to cook for my family and show them my new style of eating.  I was successful in this endeavor.  However, I did not anticipate how busy I would be during this time.  I also did not anticipate how little sleep I would get and how it would affect my weight and my body.

I learned something about my body during those 5 weeks.  I learned that lack of sleep adds pounds - regardless of what I'm eating.  In addition, I learned that am STILL an emotional eater.  When I am stressed, I still automatically reach for food.  Fortunately, I had a lot of chocolate delight on hand, as well as no sugar added ice cream, so I was able to "cheat" without too much guilt.

On a positive side, my whole family loved the chocolate delight and my "riced" cauliflower recipes.  They ate for 5 weeks on my eating plan and appeared to really enjoy it.  Again, I count it as a success, in spite of a few gained pounds.    Also, regardless of a "few" added pounds (6!) and a stressful time, I still found much joy in my time in Michigan.  I have also not found too much distress about the change in the scale as I have still been able to fulfill my spirit with God.  This is a huge achievement as in my "past life" the gain would have been devastating and would have taken over my thoughts and conquered my self esteem.  Quite the contrary, praise God!  I still feel beautiful and loved, from the inside out, and still feel like that joy glows from within.  However, with that said, I still want to honor my body as a Temple of God, therefor, am getting back on track eating and weight wise. 

In the meantime -- I am back to bed at a reasonable time and keeping my stress level within check. And... wouldn't you know it, the scale is responding. 

Well, look at the time!  I think I have a date with my pillow!

LET THEM SCOFF

So....  I'm visiting my family in Michigan and am doing the cooking while I'm here (5 weeks!).    Prior to coming, I invited those who I will be cooking for to eat the way I've been eating if they like, otherwise I was going to be prepared to cook carbs as side dishes for them.  That was my first mistake - asking.  They would have never noticed if I hadn't mentioned it.  Then my second mistake - ordering 2 large containers of coconut oil (for my Chocolate Delight) and having it shipped there, instead of shipped to my home and porting it to Michigan myself.  Oh the mockery that was awaiting me when I got there!  (Seriously, I should have known better.)

As soon as I got there, it began.   The scoffing.  The mockery.  The whining!  Now for anyone who might read this and know my family, there was only one scoffer.  But he's really into intensive scoffing.  It's practically a professional sport to Him.

I didn't get defensive.  I didn't get offended.  I just smiled and laughed inside.  Because I knew that he would love my cooking and only want more.  I was just mad at myself for mentioning it.  Well.....he scoffed.  And scoffed.  And looked over my shoulder and scoffed some more.  "What IS that?"  "Oh, your life must be so BORING now!"  "Of course eating like that will make you loose weight -- it's so disgusting you never want to eat!"  and on and on. 

I just smiled and nodded.  As I was making my Chocolate Delight.  As he was looking over my shoulder and scoffing some more. 

As I made my delectable delights, I didn't say a word.  Eventually they were done and I offered him one.  Well!  It WAS chocolate, right?  He couldn't say no to chocolate.  In fact, I think he was excited to be able to gain more scoffing material.  So he eagerly accepted and popped one of those little delights in his mouth.

Suddenly, his eyes lit up.  "MMMmmm.  Mmmmmmm!  MMMMmmmmmMMMMMM!!!!  What IS that?  It's WONDERFUL!  I mean, It's good.  REALLY REALLY GOOD!"

Yep.  I knew it.  I offered him more and he quickly accepted.  I stopped him there.  FYI, It was only an option for those who refrain from mockery.

He stopped and had to think about that.  What to do???  Surrender the joy of making fun of the health foodie in the house?  Or enjoy the chocolate?  What a dilemma!    He laughed and passed up another chocolate, claiming it was much more fun to mock my new lifestyle.  That was fine by me.  Less to share!

And 10 minutes later I caught him walking around with a handful of my Chocolate Delights!  Well, guess who's scoffing now!

Soon it was dinner.  Beef pot roast, roasted in red wine, beef bullion, and spices.  Then served with mushroom cauliflower "risotto."  Oh he couldn't help himself.  With every bite he exclaimed the deliciousness of it all (especially the cauliflower risotto) and expressed that he had never had anything like it in his life.  And he ate (literally), 2/3 of the dish.

So I've been enjoying the scoffing, because every time he does it, I know he's going to love whatever it is that I make.  So he'll be scoffing, but I'll be laughing --  all the way to a size 4.  Hello size 4 -- I see you out there and I'll be there soon!

***  To see my Chocolate Delight Recipe, CLICK HERE!

Livin the Life

The other day my husband offered me something to eat.  It was processed, so I was able to quickly check the label.  It was full of ingredients I couldn't pronounce and had a ridiculous amount of carbs and a high sugar content in it.  It took me two milliseconds to declare "no thank you" and hand it back without hesitation. 

My husband was completely flabbergasted.   He asked how I could decide "no" so quickly and so definitively.  At first, I was a little annoyed and upset.  I mean, after all, I've been doing this since Oct. 2009!  Then I thought about it.  Suddenly, I felt a rush of pride.  Of success.  Yay me!  My goal has been to feed myself (and my family) a healthy, yet "normal" way, without having them feel deprived or feel that they weren't allowed to live a normal life because of required food choices or lack of food variety.  Apparently, I've been doing a good job.  My kids have overheard my words of eating lean protein and limited carbs (although they still believe whole heartily in their favorite food group.  You know, the "noodle group.") and not eating carbs alone (it spikes your blood sugar) without some protein to balance it out.  They also know there are "high protein treats" (the ones that mommy makes) and "other treats" (the ones that daddy brings home) -- and that mommy prefers everyone to eat the high protein treats (like Mom's Chocolate Chip Cookies.)    Anyhow, it's rubbing off on my kids and my husband just hasn't been paying enough attention to notice.  Wonder why?  Hmmm, probably because dinner last night was homemade lasagna, garlic cheesy biscuits, salad, and chocolate cake for dessert.  Now that I think about it, that doesn't sound "no sugar no starch."  And it definitely didn't taste "no sugar no starch." Clearly the man isn't feeling deprived and doesn't know all the fresh healthy goodness that being provided for him.  So that, I think, is a success.  Score one for the No Sugar No Starch Mommy.  Now I just need to educate the Daddy on what he's eating, so he CAN know the fresh goodness in front of him and score some points of his own!

My Prayer for Weakness

Lord, for 2011.....

I pray for weakness,
That I may find my strength in you.

I pray for just enough fiances to pay my bills,
That I may appreciate the gifts you give and rely on you to provide for all my needs.

I pray for some discomfort in my life
That I may appreciate all the comforts you give and have empathy for others in need

I pray that you put me in the spotlight less
So that I may live a quite humble life

I pray for an ordinary appearance
So that your beauty and glory shine through me and make me sparkle from the inside out

I pray for less opportunity for me to be in charge
So that I may have more opportunity to serve others.

Lord, in 2011 I pray that my life may glorify you and humble me.  I pray that you continue to shape me as a servant to others.  I pray that your word continue to teach me, stretch me, and make me hurt; so that I may leave my comfort zone and be shaped into the person that you want me to be.

I pray that I feast not upon the luxuries and food that our society offers, but instead on the word of God. 

I pray that I can honor my body as your temple,
So that my time spent on my health can draw attention to you, and not to myself


True beauty only comes from you, from the inside out. 
But it is up to us to make your beauty shine through us into the world and provide the light the world is looking for.  Especially for those who are seeking true beauty in themselves and others.
Lord, help me be that light.

Amen

Nut Flour May Save My No Sugar No Starch Life

Yes, I have an overgrown sweet tooth.  In fact, I think much of my weight issues in life are a result of my love of sweets.  I think I've always (okay, mostly always) eaten quite healthy  - I LOVE veggies and have always eaten a TON of them, I generally don't eat fried foods (only on special occasions at restaurants), I don't eat red meat and I drink diet soda and diet drinks -- never sugar filled drinks -- not even juices.  Noodles and other starches have been occasional, but certainly not a lifestyle.  So it was always sort of a mystery to me why I was having weight issues.  During the last 2 years I have discovered a lot about my health and a lot about how my body responds to different foods.  Noodles and white flour directly impact my mood, water retention, my carpel tunnel syndrome, and my weight!  Also, I've learned that my total weakness is sweets.  I had some every day!  And if I didn't have them, I craved them like crazy and would eventually binge on them!   So I've worked hard to squelch my sweet tooth and get rid of it.  To some degree, I've had a lot of success.  In fact, at home, I rarely crave sweets any more.  Restaurants are no problem either.  Although, I will admit, then when I do start to indulge in sweets that I have out at home, I do struggle to stop and only have a moderate amount.  I've had some success with this minimizing this issue, but am still working on it. 

Also, I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but my husband is trim and has a calorie inferno for a metabolism. He is, quite literally, the same size and weight he was 20 years ago, with no effort in any way to maintain that weight.  And his favorite foods are brats, potatoes, chips, and brownies.  He always needs to have some sweet option at home.  Ugh for me.

Anyhow, I have pretty much learned to shun those things in my house for the most part.  Some days I crave them at home, but for the most part, I've conquered that issue in my (home) life.  However, when it comes to holidays and parties, just the thought of all those goodies makes me panic. If I am in a different environment and sweets are out, I find that it is like being reunited with a prior lover that I never "got over."  Those sweets seduce me and call my name, luring me closer and closer until we become close enough to touch -- that chocolate, those cookies, that candy, whatever it is ---- and suddenly I am caught in a passionate "moment" with it. Just like a secret affair, often I find I am sneaking around, finding time to be alone with a treat, looking forward to that time together,eating more and more, but always out of sight of others.  Of course, in the morning, just like a forbidden love affair, I and am regretful of that secret fling and vow I'll never do it again.  But then when we meet again, I find myself in the same cycle, caught in my lover's trance. 

UNTIL NOW!!!!!

I have recently discovered NUT FLOURS; almond flour, peanut flour, hazelnut flour, etc.  These are simply nuts -- ground so fine that they have become a powder.  I have come across and number of recipes that calls for them instead of regular flour.  Mixed with whey protein, they create wonderful tasting cookies, cakes, and other treats.  HALLELUJAH!  I am saved!!!!  Last night I made chocolate chip cookies -- to die for!   And between the nut flour and they whey protein, the sugar substitute (I've discovered Ideal Sweetener, which is my new favorite) and sugar free chocolate chips- they are all protein and no sugar no starch!  Who knew??? 

You can find almond flour at any health food store.  You can also make your own nut flours, although I have heard that it is a tedious thing.   I recently ordered peanut flour from http://www.proteinplusflour.com/ for half the price of the almond flour I bought at Whole Foods.  I bought a case of it and it shipped immediately.  So I now have enough peanut flour to last me, quite literally, the whole year!

So now, instead of falling victim to the parties and treats during the holidays, I just need to bring my own goodies to share to help create my own "no fail environment" that I talked about in my last blog.  The chocolate chip cookies are definitely a keeper.  I still need to make my peanut butter balls (which also uses nut flour.) 

So.....I think I may survive this no sugar no starch life after all.  Even during the holidays.  And parties.  And my in-law's house.  And I'll still respect myself in the morning!  What more could one woman ask for?


To order peanut flour, click here!

Makin My Own No Fail Environment

So, here it is... the holidays!  Vacation Time!  Party Time!  COOKIE TIME!

In order for me to ensure I won't fall off the wagon and go knee deep in carbs, I have discovered that I CAN NOT depend on self control, but instead need to always bring things that I can offer to others, as well as have around my own house, that I can endulge in and scarf down, not feel deprived, and yet not want to commit suicide when I step on the scale in the morning.

This week I made Christmas Cut Out Cookies.  They are pretty amazing!  I used almond flour to make them and sure enough they taste like real cookies - but all they have in them are protein.   Who knew?!  I only made a small batch because, to be honost, the almond flour is a little expensive and I didn't want to waste it if they tasted horrible.  I discovered the secret to soft cookies, like soft sugar cookies, of course it to make them thick and take them out just a little early.  If you like them crunchy and more like a ginger cookie, make them very thin and turn off the oven and keep them in for a few extra minutes.  Very tastey.  I'll be making more and having them around the house during this Cookie, er I mean Christmas, Season.  Next on my list are peanut butter balls - my personal holiday favorite!

Sa-weeeet!

I recently discovered Ideal Sweetener.  I seriously LOVE this stuff.  I can't believe how good it is, and no after taste.  I don't think anyone would know that you used something other than sugar in a recipe that you used Ideal Sweetener for. 

Ideal is made out of Xylitol.  According to the Ideal website, Xylitol has been used worldwide in foods for over 40 years, having received FDA approval as a food additive in 1963.  You’ve probably seen it in foods like sugar-free gum, lozenges, puddings.


Xylitol is a natural sweetener that is:

• As sweet as sugar with fewer calories
• Safe for pregnant women and children
• Endorsed by dental associations* and other medical professionals
• Not safe for pets, especially dogs

I've been using Ideal in desserts, sugar free chocolates, hot chocolate, and anything else that calls for sugar.  It measures the same as sugar too. 

Check out the website: 
http://idealsweet.com/


To order Ideal through Amazon, click here.

37 and Living Large? Nope, 37 and Living Small!!

This is me at the Texas Roadhouse for my 37th Birthday.  Yep, I'm on the saddle.  Symbolic, don't you think, since I feel like these days I'm "back in the saddle again!"?  My kids loved this experience of watching me sit in the saddle.  I loved sharing it with them.  I hope they can view me as a heatlhy, strong, life loving, family commited mom, ready to embrase all of life's challenges.  And, as far as my eating goes, going to the Texas Roadhouse was a perfect fit, as I was easily able to eat a no sugar/no starch meal and not feel deprived -- AT ALL!

37!!!!!   Does this put me in my "late 30's" or am I still in my "middle 30s"? 

I'm excited about 37.  Mostly because I feel like I have a new lease on life.  I feel healthy and that I am thriving more than I've ever thrived before.  I think it's because I feel like I've got my focus, my groove, my mojo.    I am working towards a healthy and strong lifestyle -- one that keeps God first, family next, service to others (which I can accomplish during my work day and beyond), and lastly serving myself.    I've noticed, though, since I've gotten this perspective, that they all easily intermix.  When I feel like I am spiritually full, then it is easy to be patient with my family and spend focused time with them and not worry about the other things that need to be done.  It is easy to want to serve others and to look for ways to serve.  I'll admit, it isn't always easy fitting in all I want/need to. Being a full time working mom isn't easy.  I'm so thankful for a husband who does more than his share and is supportive of me in all my endeavors.    My cup truly overflowith.

Lastly, when it comes to "me" - I have found that being free from the temptation (for me the BONDAGE!) of food, the obsession of weight, and the dwelling thoughts that serve my selfish issues (how do I look?  How are others viewing me?  Do people like me??) frees up so much energy and time and provides additional time to focus on my top 3 priorities.   And believe it or not, since being free from this, I feel even more beautiful and attractive than I ever felt before when I was working so hard to be beautiful and attactive!  How did that happen?  Am I truly free from my bondage of food and my selfish thoughts?  That's easy to say right now as I am coming closer to a weight I am happy with (nope, not there yet).  Will I be able to maintain that mentality if I start to gain weight?  Will my weight directly impact my feelings of adequacy?  Will I be able to keep my perspective?  I hope so.  Time will tell.

So anyway, I have a lot of goals for 37.  And believe it or not, I'm already excited for 38!  And even more excited about 40!     I know it's going to be a good year.  It will be a challenging year.  I can see lots of roadblocks lingering.  For example, my mother is sick.  I will likely be taking my children and having long extended stays in Michigan to help her and spend time with her.  Keeping my priority list God first, family next, and then serving others, this is not intimidating or stressful task, but instead something I know is a part of this jouney.   Something I am, in some strange way, looking forward to.  Not my mother being sick, but for the opportunity to seek God out during the process, serve her and bond with her during this time,  watch my girls bond with her and watch God's hand in all of it as we go.

So this is what 37 looks like in the saddle again.  Hang on!  37 is going to be an eventful ride! 

Giddy up!

Trading My Ashes for Beauty

At church last week we sang the song "At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes for Beauty)."  The lyrics impacted me as I feel that they are a summary of my journey with God. 

At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes for Beauty)

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me your love
Trough the judgement You received
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death you bore for me
And You've won my heart
And You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

The lyrics sort of summarize where I was before God.  I felt ugly inside.  I had very little self esteem very little self worth.   But through time, as I got to know Christ as my personal friend and savior, he changed all that for me.  He took those ashes that were inside and made something beautiful out of my past.  I was ugly and "burned" - but he took those remains and created something totally new.  It was a new me.  And I felt it all over.

God has done an internal makeover in me.  I now know of his love for me.  For us.  I recognize how he takes care of me and my details.  I am filled with joy regularly.  I am delighted by the gifts that he gives and I am overwhelmed with the desire to give back.  To spread the beauty and joy that God created inside of me.

If you know me, you know that I smile a lot.  That I'm friendly and that I ask what's going on. That's genuine.  I really am that happy.  And I really DO want to know what's going on. 

I feel that after my inner makeover, it is now time for the outside to reveal what the inside feels like.  It is time for me to take care of the temple that God created in me and be as healthy and pure inside as possible.  It is now important that the outside shows the discipline, the heatlh, and the rejuvination - the overall "work" that God has done.

And hense, the title, and the purpose of my Blog.  Praise God!

Meet Me.

Yes, I'm a fattie. Well, maybe it's not visible at the moment, but I'm a fattie inside and it's just waiting to show it's ugly face again. But not if I can help it! Not again!  Food is my personal demon.  But I will give in to it no more!


This blog is about my own journey to inward health and outward beauty. This blog is for me - to be a resource and a "filing system" for the things I have discovered. This journey is my search for "outward beauty" -- I say that because I recognize that I am already beautiful on the inside. My beauty from within is because I am a child of God, created in His image, exactly how he wants me to look - and recognize I am loved beyond measure through him as he created me. I feel that true beauty starts there, and without the light and joy of God, your outward appearance is only that, an appearance, and cannot be true "beauty" without the recognition how amazing and beautiful you are through the eyes of God.   


With that being said, my demons that have possessed me for most of my life have been based on low self esteem and looking for where I fit into the world. Food has been my joy, my friend, my comfort, my conversation, my social avenue, and my confidant, when things were going well in other areas of my life, and equally when they weren't. When I let God into my heart, he was able to fill my void where I was seeking to be loved and accepted. However, my bondage with food continued to haunt me. I have recently recognized that food was just that - my bondage, my addiction, the one thing I could not get control of over my life. As I considered it, I realized that food has been my drug, my porn, my secret lover, a major sin (to me at least) -- that "thing" that people judge and despise in others. When I realized that, I was disgusted by my bondage, and it no longer seemed like the "little thing" it had seemed before. I have since then worked to break that bondage. I have worked on getting healthy and learning what my body needs and what it doesn't need, the way God created it. This blog will be a journal of my continued journey.

This blog will not necessarily be on HOW I've lost the weight. Just know that it has been a little bit of this and a little bit of that -- and each piece has helped complete the puzzle for me. This blog will be my journal, my recipes, my resources, my spiritual journey and my other discoveries along the way.


So, if you are wondering, I've been big.  And I've been small. And I've been everything in between. I've been a size 18.  I'm currently a size 6 - working towards a size 4 waist and a size 4 lifestyle.





Let the journey begin!